


White Holes

by WritingRagdoll



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure, Adventure & Romance, F/M, Romance, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-04-28 13:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingRagdoll/pseuds/WritingRagdoll
Summary: Captain Cassian Andor was an Officer of Rebel Intelligence for the Alliance. An emotionless tool. There was nothing more to his life than following orders and working for the Resistance. Hell! His only friend was an Imperial droid named K-2SO. So what happens when he is struck by love at first sight and meets Dr. Lya Stryker? Will their story have a happy ending?





	1. \

The sun rose to see another day on the moon also known as, Yavin 4, and so did the injured man in the medical ward's bed. He could feel his whole body aching. He felt as if he had just been torn up, shredded and consumed by the wilderness of the galaxy. He opened his dry mouth in an attempt to speak, instead came out a painful groan.  
His free hand reached for his stomach which he clenched in horrendous pain. He couldn't remember what had happened. The last thing his memory had recollected was the almost ship crash as he was doing an emergency landing back at the Rebel base. He had been lucky to avoid one of those massive pyramids that the ancient Massassi had built on this moon.

"Ah, you have woken." A smooth voice said from somewhere in the room.

He found himself momentarily blinded by the bright light above, his eyes focused on a blurry figure before him. He suddenly felt a strange sensation. As a cold hand on his burning forehead. He couldn't help but initially flinch at the foreign touch, but somehow he managed to relax at the touch. He emitted harsh breath and his eyebrows knitted. Despite his pain, he could also feel that a fluid IV was attached to his arm, pumping much needed cool fluids and nutrients into his weak body.

"Rest." Despite the relaxed tone, the statement had almost sounded like a command to him.  
"Rest" The voice repeated.

In defeat, won over by exhaustion he allowed his eyes drop once again. He couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last time they shut. He couldn't go like this. Had he given his entire life up for the rebellion just for it to end like this?  
The hand briefly rested on his forehead once again and a pair of long fingers slipped to tangle his knotted brown hair.

Lux, a female nurse, and doctor in training observed the Doctor, her mentor, carefully.  
"Place him on some antipyretics," the Doctor began.  
"I want him in intense observation, and I want his fluids carefully regulated. Don't want him to lose his strength." She held a deep breath and observed the features of the man before her.  
He had long dark eyelashes, an unshaven face and dark shaggy hair which almost reached his shoulders.  
It appeared as if he had dug his own grave. He wasn't well. She closed her eyes and sighed. At this point, it was best to trust that the Force would do what was right and just. She could feel it was strong with him. Part of her knew he would make it.  
She adjusted her white lab coat before picking up the patient's clipboard and heading out.

"Let me know if he awakens, again," she tossed back to her younger apprentice.

 

* * *

 

There it was again- the blinding light. The one that seemed to burn past your eyelids and into the back of your brain. The Captain couldn't help but wonder if this was the afterlife? If it was, he certainly didn't feel at peace or any ease.

Mixed voices rang in his ears. The aching pain in his stomach, now more bearable served as a gruesome reminder of his current mortal status.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, this time with much more ease. He blinked away the blurriness and saw that before him stood two women and a man. One of the women was speaking. He didn't listen. _He couldn't._ The Captain found himself lost in a pair of azure violet eyes. He had never met a creature with such peculiar colored eyes. He noted that her mouth continued moving. He couldn't make out the words. She wore the formal attire that most medics in the Rebel Base wear, a white lab coat over her brown clothes. Her brown hair was styled short to her shoulders and was messily held up in a fat bun behind the nape of her neck. Her brown bands were nearly combed asymmetrically framing her eyes nicely.  
  
In that moment he was struck.  
  
Feeling extremely self-conscious, the hospitalized man ran a hand down his sharp jawline trailing his unshaven face. He couldn't bear removing his eyes from the intense violet ones before him.  
He was so aghast that he didn't even realize when she was beginning to explain his perilous situation to him. The Doctor revealed that he had been poisoned on a mission and that thanks to the Force he had made it just in time for them to inject him with the antidote.  
  
"...Do you understand the gravity of your situation?" Adair, the male apprentice, and nurse repeated tapping on a clipboard impatiently.  
There was an uncomfortable silence in the small curtained room and the air filled with sudden tension. The Captain had a pair of bottomless, dark, eyes that seemed to peer into your soul.  
"Captain Andor?" Lux inquired with a small voice. The Doctor kept her eyes fixed on his not faltering for one moment. Both of the nurses looked at the Doctor concerned. They couldn't help but wonder if the patient had maintained brain damage from the crash. Regardless she kept her eyes glued to his dark ones.  
He didn't respond instead he removed his hand from his beard, eyes still focused.  
It was hopeless. This had never happened to Cassian before. He had never had the use for friendships or any kind of relationship before. They were of no use to him. The closest thing he had o a friend was a droid named K-2SO, it wasn't even human. He was a Rebel. He had a vital cause to work for:  <i>freedom.</i>  
Whatever relationships he had had in the past had all been short-lived.  
  
<i>'Fuck it...'</i> he thought to himself. He felt a stirring inside him something consume his consciousness.  
  
"Go out with me." Were the first words he uttered to her. For a moment the had forgotten the aching pain that trembled in his stomach. And the pulsating headache that made him want to rip his head off. Adair looked away with wide eyes attempting to ignore the awkward tension in the room. Lux blushed vibrantly and brought a hand to her face to hide her growing smile. They both turned to face the Doctor once again who had recuperated from the surprise and kept her cool. The corner of her lips turned upwards into a charming smile and she shoved her hands into her deep pockets as she shook her head from side to side. <i>'Well, this is a first...'</i>She thought.  
"Captain Andor-" she spoke carefully in an attempt to correct the situation.  
"Cassian." He corrected her, and she noted he had a thick accent which belonged to a distant land.  
"As flattered as I am, you don't even know my name." She said still wearing that small smile.  
He kept his eyes alert and read the tag on her white coat.  
"Dr. Stryker," he said slowly. "Go out with me." He repeated determined.  
She observed him cautiously for a moment. Maybe he did have brain damage.  
"No," she said with a smile before walking away, still with that coy smile worn on her face. Her apprentices followed after her snickering at the idea of the usually serious doctor having such a bold suitor.  


* * *

  
It became almost like a soap opera.  
  
The scene would be reenacted every single time the Doctor would walk into the small curtain room to make her rounds. And every single time she would only shake her head with a smile. There had to be something wrong with this man's head. That crash landing hadn't been good for him.  
Cassian wouldn't give up. Whenever he asked it was never a request; it was always a demand for something he needed. He wondered if this was what it was like when sailors fell eyes upon the lost sirens in the depths of space. It was a lost cause.  
An obsession. He had been struck by an arrow and starred into the sun blindly.  
There was no way he was letting go now.  
He could remember the tales that his father told the mother he never met.  
<i>"I saw her, and it was like time stopped." He would say to Cassian in his tender youth. "That's how I knew we had to be together."</i>  
   
Regardless, her answer never changed. He persisted.  
  
"As flattered as I am, do you know how unprofessional that would be of me?" was one of her excuses.  
"Captain Andor, I'm afraid you are lucid," was another response.  
"I said no yesterday, and the day before and the day before. What makes you think I will say yes today?"  
She would always ask with a playful smile.  
"Captain Andor, if you already know what the answer will be, why do you keep asking?" She asked as he struggled to sit up in the uncomfortable bed. She sat close listening to his heartbeat with her stethoscope. There was no other excuse for his sudden infatuation  
"You must've hit your head really hard." She commented as she examined his cranium.  
Surprisingly he was quiet for a moment. The nurses had come to enjoy their interactions and would often merely attend to witness the fruitless attempts of the captain. Their unwanted presence was greeted with a severe glare from the Doctor and a "Have you finished your reports?"  
"Because there is always hope," he said calmly as he reached for her warm hand. The Doctor noted that despite the calmness in his voice his heart was aggressively hammering through her stethoscope. She saw the determined glint in his eyes. His calloused hand squeezed hers. She removed both of her hands from his person. She merely attributed his infatuation to something called Florence Nightingale syndrome. It wasn't uncommon for injured individuals to feel a sudden attraction for their caretakers.  
"Cassian," she began slowly.  
He looked at her surprised noticing that she had addressed by his first name.  
"Listen," she said reaching and placing her stethoscope around his head. She was about to speak again but was interrupted by her pager. She ignored it and resumed.  
"I want you to listen to something-" She said picking up the mouth of the stethoscope.  
  
Again, that darn buzzing. It was an emergency. Embarrassed at the fact that petty flirting had gotten in the way of her medical duties. Without another word she bolted out of the curtained room  
Cassian mentally cursed as he spilled back into his hospital bed. He starred at the off lightbulbs above his head that he had grown used to.  
<i>'What was she going to show him?'</i> He ran his hands over his face in frustration and slid deep into the covers. At this point, he was no stranger to failure.

 

* * *

 

  
The following afternoon, Dr. Stryker was making rounds as she usually did. However, today was different. She could feel the bottom of her stomach flipping with anxiety. She inhaled a deep breath and braced herself before swatting away the curtain that served as the door to Captain Andor's room, and she could feel her anxiety turning into panic at the terrible sight.  
  
He was gone.  
  
Panic surged through her.  
  
He was <i>gone.</i>  
  
His bed empty, sheets tangled. There was a terribly sick man wondering around the medical ward unsupervised. She immediately brought up her pager to her lips and alerted the other medics in the medical ward. This wasn't possible, he hadn't been discharged. After being in such delicate condition it was compromising for the entire camp and especially for him to be casually walking about.  
  
Especially after being poisoned and almost dying...  
  
"Nurse!" she shouted as she ran out of the room breathlessly. "Nurse!"  
  
When she reached the outside of the room she was suddenly brought to a halt.  
In front of her, barely standing on his own feet stood Cassian leaning against the wall weakly, He wore a pair of beige hospital robes which contrasted with his shaggy appearance. On the one hand, he held a bouquet of bioluminescent violet orchid flowers, one of the native flowers of Yavin 4; he approached her stumbling on his bare feet. She rushed towards him, and he grasped onto her waist tightly allowing his weight to collapse on hers. She kept an equally tight grip on his arms keeping him on his toes. His grip tightened when he realized how close he was and he offered the flowers to her accidentally slapping her chin with them.  
  
"S-sorry..." He apologized nervously. Once again he cursed at himself inside his head.  
"Idiot!" She exclaimed unhappily. He could've gotten hurt! How could he be so careless?! She called for assistance once again.  
  
"Lya Stryker, will you go out with me. Please?" He asked with a smirk. She took the flowers in one hand and tossed them over her shoulder carelessly.  
  
"Lya Stryker, will you go out with me?" he repeated as she carried him back to his hospital bed.  
  
"Lya Stryker-" He was about to ask one last third time.  
  
He wasn't going to give up. Every single time his eyes met her vibrant ones he felt it. That knot in his throat that fight or flight instinct kicking up inside of him stirring his stomach and usually focused emotions.  
  
<i>"So how did you get her to notice you?" He had asked his father that same day. The man scratched his chin and smiled at the memory of his late wide. "Just- if you ever find her son. Don't give up." He had smiled down at his son and patted his back shoulder.</i>  
  
It was rare to have such tender moments during the time of war. Perhaps that's why he remembered it so well. It was before the Clone Wars. Before his father accompanies his mother in the afterlife.  
  
He was taken back when what sounded like agreement reached his ears.  
"Fine!" She exclaimed.  
"Maybe." She fumed hands on her hips.  
Her eyes focused on him with a sharp glare. This man... She wanted to ask if he was like this with every single woman he met.  
  
A smirk edged on Cassian's face at the look on her face.  
  
Perhaps, a maybe was better than a no. No?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Cassian Andor was an Officer of Rebel Intelligence for the Alliance. An emotionless tool. There was nothing more to his life than following orders and working for the Resistance. Hell! His only friend was an Imperial droid named K-2SO. So what happens when he is struck by love at first sight and meets Dr. Lya Stryker? Will their story have a happy ending?

Dr. Lya Stryker brought a hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. She was a professional for the Force’s sake. She didn’t have to deal with this, dare she say a type of harassment!  Her mood was irked and foul. That man was something else. From what Lya had heard about him, Captain Andor’s reputation did somewhat proceed him. Despite his redundant questioning, he was a quiet man. It was rare for him to slip her any personal information even if she was his medic. To put it in simple terms he was a man of practicality, and from what she knew he wasn’t one to beat around the bush. He didn’t have many friends from what she could tell. His room was always empty of visitors. He appeared to be a no-nonsense kind of man who always got to the point.  
  
The only individual that would be in the room often was a rebooted Imperial droid named K-2SO or Kaytoo. It had been weeks, and the man remained under pretenses of feeling unwell. This bothered Lya to no end since he was only occupying precious time and resources.  
  
“Captain Andor, Happy day!” She said as she walked into his room with glee.  
  
He was sitting up on his hospital bed and scratched his bearded neck. His pristine sheet covers hid most of his body except for his rugged face.  
  
“Is today the day you finally agree to go out with me?” He asked in his peculiar foreign accent. A wide grin playing on his face. This feeling he had. It was something that had never consumed him in such a way. There was no way in hell that he was giving up any time soon. Her flustered expression only seemed to encourage him more. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. She attempted to ignore the fact that her ears were turning red. The man had been in the medical ward for almost a month! (His ship was being repaired as well) And it was the same thing every single day. Frankly, it was getting old. “Ha! Believe it or not, it’s even better,” she waved her finger as she briefly skimmed through his health report.  
“Today is the day that you are discharged. So, enjoy your freedom.” She simply shrugged content with the fact that he would be out of her hair.  
“Even better,” he said wildly as he tossed the covers off his body and into the air. “That means that I can finally take you out.”  
  
She blinked twice surprised to see that he had been wearing his civilian clothing underneath the sheets. He jumped out of bed with some ease before flinching and bending over in pain. She didn’t even bother in reaching for him. _He deserved that_.  
  
“The fact that you’re being discharged doesn’t mean that you can run amuck. Your body still has to rest and regain its strength.” She sighed dropping her head to the side a hand hanging on her hips. _What was she going to do with this man?_  
The droid in the room stepped back cautiously. “As the days pass by I calculate there is a decreasing 22.5% chance that Dr. Stryker will agree to engage in this courting ritual with you,” Kaytoo added robotically. She looked at the droid apprehensively, _‘I mean, he’s not wrong.’_ She thought to herself with a humorous huff.  
“All I need is a 1%,” Cassian added dramatically in protest. He allowed a hiss to escape his lips as he clutched his gut and slowly straightened his back. This was probably the first time that Lya got a good look at him. He was about her height. He wore a brown jacket over a pair of brown pants and matching boots. His frame was fit despite his brief moment of weakness, and his shaggy look fits him nicely.  
  
“Doctor,” he croaked still clenching his body. Slightly concerned she approached him. Her eyes scanned for any sign of injury or disease. She was about to ask what was wrong when he opened his mouth.  
“You said maybe. Now I’m waiting for my yes.” She looked at him with her azure eyes wide. The slightest flirtatious smirk made way to his face.  
“Ugh!” She couldn’t help herself. She swatted his side with the clipboard.  
“Cassian! I am under no obligation or pretense to reciprocate your uncontrollable emotions or to entertain you!” She protested incredulously. He couldn’t help but chuckle at her heated reaction. His hands reached for hers.  
“I’ll treat you like a _princessa._ I promise.” He said dreamily with passion. There was something about him speaking his foreign language that made the blood rush to her face.  
“Out. You are no longer my patient!” She exclaimed as she stormed out of his room. Her face crimson.  
“The nerve on that one!” She shook her head distraught. Inside Cassian grinned at Kaytoo his hope didn’t falter “She’ll say yes soon. I know it.”  
“The percentage has now decreased to 7.63%” the other retorted sounding almost annoyed. …  
  
The following day Lya was relieved to attend work. There were still many pilots, soldiers and other medics that needed of her care, and today- Captain Cassian Andor would not be in the medical ward to distract her. She sighed content as she sipped some tea reaching her patient’s new room. She looked at the chart of the individual. Jeron A. it read. He was a human suffering from some cardiac problem… She thought it was odd that no last name had been written and still stepped into the private curtained room.  
  
“Good day Captain Jeron, I’m Dr.-” She was caught mid-sentence when she saw the Captain sitting in her consulting room.  
_“You!_ ” She exclaimed almost tossing the clipboard over her head. Her brows knitted, she put the clipboard aside. He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to the punch.  
“Identity theft is not a joke!” She began sounding frustrated.  
“Some real soldiers are injured in this ward. I can’t afford to waste my time with you,” she explained angrily. The serene expression on his face did not falter. He had come prepared. He had trimmed and shaped his beard, and his hair had also been shortened and combed over nicely with his fingers. He wore his best clothes.  
  
“Why Doctor!” He said dramatically in a mocking tone. She wasn’t having it today.  
“I am not here under any pretenses. My second name is Jeron.” He explained. It had also been his father’s name once… She cut to the chase and approached him. “Alright.” She grumbled walking towards him.  
“Alright. So, what hurts?” She asked as she pulled out her stethoscope.  
“My heart,” he added in a sappy tone covering his _'aching’_ chest with both of his hands. She looked at him dead in the eyes one more time. He had to be joking. She felt as if she was the one that was going to be sick.  
That was probably the worst line she had ever heard.  
She felt her eyes roll back all the way to the back that he swore she saw the frontal lobe of her brain. Without another word she merely stepped out of the room.  
  
The same thing happened the following day.  
And the following.  
And the following- The man had so many aliases she was concerned he was never going to run out.  
  
Today she was supposed to be checking in with another male, who also had heart problems. She was on her way when she stumbled upon that massive droid that always seemed to accompany Cassian.  
  
“Good day Dr. Stryker,” he greeted politely.  
“Yes?” She didn’t stop walking.  
“Pardon my intrusion, but over the passing of the last couple of days Captain Cassian has become quite irritating, 85% of his conversation topics revolve around you-” “Goodbye!” She called over her shoulder at the mention of the said Captain.  
  
She could begin to feel her anger begin to boil in her insides as she approached the consulting door. She already knew what- or who was hiding behind it under pretenses.  
  
“Alright!” She rushed into the room not bothering to knock on the door.  
“Listen- I’m only going to say it once, and I will not be repeating myself. I am sick and tired of you coming in here under pretenses. People are dying!” She growled out angrily slamming the door behind her. It was then that she noticed that there was a red Mon Calamari male sitting inside instead. He looked mildly horrified at her uncharacteristic outbursts.  
“I am so sorry!” she gasped and apologized to appease the shocked man.  
  
After checking on him, she stepped out of the room consumed by the embarrassment. She leaned against the wall and buried her red face in her flat palms. If she saw that man again oh- Bringing her hands down she saw a pair of familiar boots peeking through the gaps between her fingers. _Oh no…_ She slowly brought her head up and saw a formal bouquet of flowers before her. They were bigger and way more gorgeous than the last. These had not been hand-picked. Flower giving was a tradition foreign to her, and she assumed it might have meant something from whatever hole it was he had crawled out of.  
  
“Alright…” she said dropping her hands down in defeat.   
  
She took in a deep breath ready to tell him and tell him to go screw himself.  
  
However- despite the thousands of “no"s she had said to him he somehow remained hopeful. Despite his rugged looks and persistent intensity, he was charming in his own way.  
  
"Fine,” she rubbed her temples.  What was one date anyways?  
“Fine. Fine.” she continued repeating. The smile on his face simply grew to be wider. She was not pleased. Despite this, she looked away with a visible pout. She presumed that Captain Andor was a handsome man. He was highly esteemed around the base. The issue was that she simply did not have any spare time to “date” during the rebellion. He should know best.  
  
“Pick me up after work at the end of the week, and I will go out with you. If you are a moment late, you can forget about it.” He handed her the bouquet giddily. 

It was official.

It was a date.


	3. Chapter 3

 It was Captain Andor’s worst nightmare.

 Everything that could possibly go wrong on their first date had gone wrong.

To begin with, he had gotten to the medical building late to which Lya had not taken well.

 

* * *

 

“Wait- wait!” he caught her just as she was leaving the building.

“Twenty minutes late,” she had said doubtfully shaking her head.  A habit he realized she often did.

She wasn’t wearing her white coat. Instead, her hair was loose brushing just above her shoulders, and she had decided to wear a light layer of makeup.

“I’m sorry I’m late-” He began. She continued walking with her head held high. “Twenty-minutes…” she clicked her tongue not stopping. “Por favor- You look beautiful by the way, I mean-you always do, but more so today-”

She rolled her eyes to look at him. Despite her annoyance, she wore the smallest of smiles on her face.

 He came to a sudden halt. He had messed up. Perhaps it was best to try again tomorrow. Several people crowded the streets as she advanced the terrain.

“Hey- so are you coming?” She called after him finally turning. “Let’s go to the cantina.”

 

* * *

 

  

 He had forgotten the flowers bouquet he had gotten her for their first date. When they arrived at the cantina the place was so crowded that they were seated all the way in the back next to a loud band. He had stained his shirt with a sauce, and his smooth dancing skills had faltered due to his jumping nerves. It was even more embarrassing after he had reassured her he was a saucy dancer. He had been so preoccupied with making more mistakes that he merely started an unstoppable chain reaction.

He had stepped on her many times when she asked him to dance. It was hopeless. He could see her irked expression growing with each passing minute. Cassian decided to call it a night and asked for the handsome check. However, upon receiving it, he realized that he had forgotten his wallet at home. He held the back of his neck in embarrassment as they walked out of the cantina. Thankfully, Lya hadn’t minded picking up the tab.

“I’ll get it next time,” Cassian promised her with a nervous chuckle.

“Oh, it’s not a problem.” She said kindly offering him a polite smile. Both were slightly intoxicated.

The night couldn’t get worse, could it?

Yes. _It could._

From above the violet skies suddenly rumbled and thundered with an instantly pouring storm. He took in a deep breath to hold in his frustrations. He cursed and remembered that Kaytoo had warned him about the high probability of rain for the evening.

“We should get back home,” she began. “Thank you for the evening; it was er-” She paused for a moment as she sought for the appropriate word. “Interesting Captain.” she nodded apprehensively. Her hands slid into her pockets as she turned her own way.

Lya put a step forward in the muddy ground when she suddenly felt a weight on her shoulders. She turned only to see Cassian jog in front of her. He had laid his blue parka jacket on her shoulders. “Allow me to walk you; it’s only proper.” He offered.

She could see the distress in his dark eyes, and with a humorous huff, she agreed. “Alright, just know that I can take care of myself.” She shrugged as she now moved her hands to the inside of his parka’s pockets.

“I need an excuse to save this date!”

 The rain slowly poured above the two of them. Her home wasn’t too far. Cassian was dangerously quiet. There was a solemn expression on his face that appeared to be uncharacteristic in her eyes. She couldn’t help but smile fondly at the poor fool. He had tried everything tonight, and he still had horrifyingly bombed their date night. ‘I’m probably going to regret this,’ she thought to look away with wary eyes. She wore a playful smile on her face as she reached for his hand. He looked down at it confused. Lya looked at his surprised expression and smiled at him.

“So- tell me about your travels, I’m sure you get out a lot.”  
  


* * *

 

 It had been a long walk. Both of their paces had slowed down just to give them enough time for the walk to save the night. Lya remained warm and dry under his parka. Cassian was wet to the bone. She protested and offered to return the jacket. He had insisted that if he got sick, it would only land him in the medical ward again. He wasn’t one to complain.

“-And the same song was playing in the cantina?” she asked laughing at the conversation they were having.

“Yes! It was like they didn’t know any other damn song.” He added in his accented voice, shaking his head incredulously. “It was terrible. I mean- like come on!” he laughed. He was surprised to see her smiling with him at his anecdotes. Cassian didn’t meet many people, but the ones he did not find his stories to be humorous. He could see the small dimly lit home that they were approaching. It was then that a brisk movement from the over populous flora of the tropical jungle caught his attention. His instincts kicked in and he drew his blaster standing in a fighter stance. Without another word, he put a protective hand over the Doctor pushing her back behind him. He was ready to shoot when-

She barely felt the coldness of the drawn weapon being pressed to the back of her head. An audible gasp escaped her lips as a stranger twisted an arm behind her back and held her in place.

 He pivoted a moment too late and found himself unable to fire.

Lya was being held as a hostage by a masked enemy. He couldn’t risk shooting this individual as she was too close to him.

“Captain Andor, I’ve been tracking you for months. Can’t believe the poison didn’t get to you...” The masked individual spat out dangerously.

“She’s got nothing to do with this.” Cassian hissed with his pistol still pointing at the villain. 

Lya swallowed the knot that had formed in her throat and looked back at the creature that held her with a frown on her face.

“You rebel scum snake. Did you really think no one would notice the slithering snake that you are? A spy? Providing information to enemies of the Galactic Empire?”

 “Listen,” Cassian said frustrated through gritted teeth. “She has nothing to do with this. I will not repeat myself, release her.” 

His eyes once again landed on the woman’s before him. Despite the grim situation, she remained somewhat composed. There was a hard look in her eyes. It was then that the crimson laser beam sank into the dark depths of the tropical forest before him.

The enemy appeared to be immobilized. He lay face down in the muddy dirt unable to move. The Doctor stood with her back straight as she clenched and unclenched her open fist. She merely wore an annoyed expression.

 He didn’t waste a minute in bolding towards her. He embraced her in a tight hug. She eyed him uneasily not feeling at the comfort level of hugging yet.

“Lya! Are you O.K.?” He asked holding her tight, looking at her eye to eye. He could feel the cold rain soaking his body and her warm hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?” He repeated looking at her azure eyes. She nodded still looking down at the man on the floor. “I don’t understand what happened,” Cassian said confused. How had she managed to take an intergalactic spy like that?

“Pressure points,” She explained pointing her index finger up. He turned to look at her with narrowed eyes still not comprehending. “It’s a rare art of combat. I applied some pressure to a certain nerve ending spot in the body to immobilize him,” she said casting a casual look down at the man on the ground. 

Cassian kept his eyes focused on her in awe.

Well, she did tell him she could take care of herself.

Feeling self-conscious Lya couldn’t help but nervously chuckle under his intense gaze.

“Cassian! You don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself.” She reminded him with a smile, squeezing back his hand. “I figured he might possess vital information that might be useful to us. You might want to interrogate him amongst other things since apparently, he was the one who poisoned you.” She said before tucking a strand of wet hair behind her ear.

 The thundering rainstorm echoed through the jungle flora.

  He was speechless. He wasn’t aware he was gawking at her. He had found her. The perfect woman for him. It was then that a sullen feeling filled him.

What had just happened- it had been his fault. If he were foolish enough to remain in her life, it would always be the same. She would be attacked, prosecuted, threatened. He looked at her sadly. He couldn’t allow himself to do such a thing to her.

Besides, he would soon be embarking on a mission. Who knew if he could come back… 

He figured it simply wasn’t meant to be.


	4. Chapter 4

 A couple of days after their date Lya still hadn’t seen or heard of Cassian Andor. He had been so persistent to take her out that she couldn’t help but be taken back when he just vanished out of her life.

 “How was your date with Captain Andor?” Her nurses/apprentices Lux and Adair asked eagerly.

“Oh,” Lya coughed caught off guard by the question. She shoved her hands into her pockets and shrugged in an attempt to play it cool. “It was alright. I don’t think it will happen again.”

“What? Why?” Lux asked dramatically. “He seemed almost lovesick when he was here!”

Once again Lya shrugged. “What can I say? Men,” she shook her head. “One day they want to date a doctor, the next they want- who knows what.”

“Hey!” Adair protested. “Women are just about the same,” he looked at Lux warily. The tension between them was obvious. She seemed oblivious to this regardless. “I mean, you’re not wrong.” The Doctor agreed nodding.

 She half expected Cassian to casually stroll into the medical ward with a massive bouquet of bioluminescent orchids any minute now. To her disappointment, he didn’t.

  

* * *

  

 It had been more than a week now since she had last seen or heard from the Captain. She couldn’t help but blame herself for his absence. Had she done something wrong that night?

She acknowledged that it had been a very shitty date, but felt that they had somewhat connected by the end of the evening. She concluded that perhaps he had been so bold before that now he was waiting for her to approach him. It was her turn. The following day Lya found some free time and decided to visit Captain Andor.

 Her eyes wandered around the bustling military base. It wasn’t often that she was here, but she always found the place to be filled with activity and people scampering around. Pilots and soldiers would sprint from one side of the air base to the other to board their X-wings. Ships were coming in and leaving, and somehow there seemed to be an order. Well, no one ever crashed or stumbled into others. Droids rolled around the area. Her eyes scanned the busy terrain until and then she finally spotted his blue parka.

 She approached him shyly.

“H-Hi,” she said tapping on his shoulder. He turned around, and she noted his surprised expression. “Cassian,” she began dropping his name in a more casual matter. “How have you been?” She asked politely.

“Good,” he replied curtly lacking a smile. There was an awkward silence between them.

“I’ve been well too. Thank you for asking.” She retorted sarcastically to poke at his rudeness after a moment of quiet.

Cassian eyed the grounds anxiously he saw many prying eyes observing their interaction between him and the doctor with curiosity.

“I brought you this,” she said handing him a small cloth bag wrapped with a string bow. “It’s tea. I’m not sure if you’re a fan, but it’s quite good before sleeping.”

He did not take the gift, and his dark eyes returned to hers. He appreciated the small gesture, yet remained mute. Lya found this discouraging. Still, she mustered her courage. “So, I was wondering if you wanted to try it. I am free tonight.”

She saw him clench his jaw as if he was biting his tongue. Despite this, his eyes remained focused and dull. He kept silent. This was not of encouragement to her. From behind him, K-2SO approached them in a nosy matter. He could see the deflated expression on the woman’s face. “7%” Was all he said.

“I can’t,” he answered his eyes darted away to his X-Wing behind him. “How about tomorrow?” she tried. “I can’t.” He repeated in a rougher tone.

She pursued her lips and looked down at her feet in embarrassment. Perhaps she had misread the situation. “Right,” She said nodding her head apprehensively. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what he meant. “Right, right…”

 If he was only going to reject her why had he been so persistent in asking her out?!

Suddenly she began feeling heating anger bubbling inside her.

“Lya-“ Cassian began. “Hey- I get it.” She said glaring at him; her lips were drawn on a thin line. “Enjoy,” she said before slapping the gift on his chest and storming away.

She and made her way out of the base feeling humiliated and confused. Cassian sighed as he watched her walk away. He felt something in his chest clenching as she walked away from his life. The only rational thought that grounded him not to chase after her was that it was only for the best.

“Doctor! Doctor!” Lya was brought to a halt by a young man. “I have a terrible wound in my back. Could you take a look at it in the infirmary?”

“Of course,” she nodded kindly and followed the rebel soldier back inside of the base. She walked tall and with pride as they walked by Cassian.

 _‘Rebel men nowadays!’_ she thought angrily as she held her breath.

Inside of the infirmary in the base, she inspected the soldier’s back and indeed he had a nasty gash that spread from the edge of one of his shoulders down to the middle of his spine. Thankfully it wasn’t deep enough to cause severe damage.

 “You were right in asking me to inspect it.”

 She turned to face one of the attending nurses that was in the infirmary and asked her for some alcohol, painkillers and a gauze pad. He did as was instructed.

“This might sting,” she warned as she began cleaning his wound. The soldier hissed in pain and his back arched. She briefly paused before continuing. As she did, she couldn’t notice but realize that she soldier had broken down into a fit of cries. “It is not that painful, is it?” she paused again concerned. He shook his head. The rivers of tears streamed down his face as he buried his crying face in his hand.

“It’s my little brother.” He cried. “He died out in the field today. He died saving me, and I got away with a scratch.” She remained quiet. “That’s not how it’s supposed to be. I’m the big brother, and I was supposed to protect him.” He sobbed. Lya just stared at the man sadly.

Grief wasn’t something she was unfamiliar with. Working as a doctor, living in such a complicated time during the galactic wars. Grief and mourning had sadly become a part of life. She wished she had been numbed by it, but instead, she always found something inside of her aching whenever she had to break the news of a passing to a loved one. It was terrible. Uncertain of what to do she allowed the soldier to mourn in peace and stepped out once she finished the treatment.

She found herself lost in thought as she reminisced the life her parents had had. Both had perished young during the Clone Wars. Just like the others of the time, she had been forced to grow up too quickly. She had quickly taken an affinity to medicine and decided to study the trade. Despite the loyalty to the Alliance to Restore the Republic that had killed them both she decided it was best to carry their torch and dedicate her life to the cause.

It was then that she felt a force holding her behind. An arm wrapped around her pulling her towards the darkness. A hand covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming. She wrestled as the door closed before her engulfing her in the darkness. She bit the hand that covered her mouth and banged on the door forward in an attempt to claw her way out. “Ah!” the individual behind her cried out as he removed his hand. “Help!” She cried out.

She had already been held as a hostage last week, and this wasn’t going to happen again. She knocked her head back against the individual’s face.

“Hey!” The gruff voice hissed behind her ear. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her torso holding her tight. “Hey…” the somewhat familiar voice repeated.

“Let go of me!” She shouted clawing the arms and tossing her head back wildly. The person instead held on tighter. “It’s me!” There it was, that familiar accent. “Cassian!” she gasped shocked and spun. Suddenly the lights went on. 

They both appeared to be in some broom closet. The space between them was minimal. “What do you think you’re doing?!” she snapped as she swatted his arm. One of his arms was put holding onto the light switch the other pinched the bridge of his injured nose.

 “Ouch…” he groaned. She reached for the doorknob upset, but he beat her to it.

“W-Wait!” he stopped her wrapping his hand around hers.

“I’m sorry,” he began. “Hear me out-”

“I don’t get you-you persist and demand that I go on one date with you, and then what? You get bored and simply shut me out?” she turned back to face him once again.

“I want to talk to you,” he said slowly, he eyed her hands hoping she wouldn’t strike him once again.

“Well then let’s talk outside, like civilized individuals.” Once again her hand reached for the doorknob. This time he snaked around her and covered the door with this body.

“Hear me out. Please!” he begged. “I’m dying to see you again, I am-”

“Then?” She said tossing her hands in the air incredulously accidentally swatting his nose again in the process. He winced and reached for his nose again. “It’s complicated,” he began.

“Noted.” She retorted humorlessly. “Now move unless you want to lose all feeling and sensation down from your neck down and below!”

His nose twitched, and he wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly in place.

“I want to see you again- I am dying to see you again, but I can’t. It’s too dangerous.” He looked away in discontent.

“What-” she sighed confused. “What are you talking about?”

“What happened last week-” He was at loss of words. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have many enemies. It’s only going to get worse from here on. If people know if my enemies find out about you.” His hand reached for her face. “About us.” He said gazing deeply into his eyes.

The Doctor felt the blood rush to her face. “Us” that word. This man was insane. They had known each other for such a small amount of time.

Just what was going through his mind for him to make such bold statements.

“You’re mad,” she said with a nervous laugh. She reached behind her back and unhooked his fingers which held his arms around her.

His expression remained fixed. She eyed him carefully hoping to see him falter. However, it didn’t. The look he was giving her, stirred something in her. She swallowed hard.

“Cassian, you see- I don’t believe you.” She said slowly nodding her head with pursed lips. “What?” He asked through deaf ears. “I don’t believe you. Am I your girl of the month? Something or someone to play with? Because- I don’t have time for games. I’m a fulltime medic at the clinic. I’m on call all hours a day. I seldom have time for myself, less for a relationship.” She breathed. 

“I know that,” he said slowly.

“Then?” She insisted, seeking for an answer.

“I know that I want you.” He spoke slowly. He choose his words carefully.

 “I saw you and-“ She didn’t want to hear the rest. 

 This was getting too intense for Lya. She had never had a man declare himself to herself in such a way. “This is too much for me,” she said in a hurried voice as she made a reach for the doorknob. This time he did not stop her.

“Goodbye Captain Andor, good luck on your mission.” She uttered as she rushed out of the room.

He couldn’t help himself. Every time he left on a mission, it was the same. It was a gamble of life and death. He wouldn’t know if he would be returning. He had to do it. Halting halfway through his words he grabbed her face with both hands and roughly planted a kiss on her. His beard scratched her face. Her eyes shot open wide.

 It was then that he was snapped to reality by a loud smack. “Well, I never!” He saw her wide eyes and her face a blushing red shade. She snaked around him and adjusted her white lab coat as she left the base. She was utterly flustered as she returned to the medical ward. She couldn’t help but touch her lips and feel his lingering touch on them.

Still, in the broom closet, Cass felt his stung cheek with his aching hand. He leaned against the wall with a dreamy expression on his face.

“Ay!” he said to himself. “ _?Por_ que siempre _son las_ cabronas _?”_ He sunk into his emotional sinkhole.

  

* * *

 

 Spanish note: _Cabrona_ , casual curse word, means a lot of things. Can be used in a positive and negative. In this instance, it means “hot-tempered,  feisty” one.


	5. Chapter 5

             With blank eyes, the Doctor hung her lab coat upon a hook by the door. She removed the medical mask that covered her face and exhaled feeling exhausted. She looked at the clock above her head which hung on the dull wall of the medical ward.

“Time of death?” One of the other doctors asked.

“10:17 she read.” She began removing her surgical gloves. Her eyes briefly lingered on the soldier who had just passed. She didn’t make it. She had merely become another number, a toll from the war.

Lya had become accustomed to it. Death was a part of the world in which she lived in. It wasn’t rare to lose a soul on an odd day, and sometimes even illness was beyond medical skill.

She left the room and returned to her small office Lux and Adair, her apprentices, followed behind her with somber expressions.

“Another goner,” the doctor mumbled, her features collapsed in an upsetting frown. “Got anything else for me tonight?” She ran an anxious hand through her permanently messy hair.

This had been the 3rd loss of the day; it had been a particularly harsh day. An X-Wing caught on fire barely managed to crash back on Yavin 4, four where injured, three didn’t make it.

Both apprentices exchanged a look before shaking their heads.

 “Don’t look so glum now,” Lya began as she walked around her desk and began leafing through some loose papers on her desk. “Death is a part of life. A part of our cause. As dark as it is, it is important that we respect it and those whom she calls.” Adair’s thin lips stretched into a frown, and he looked down at the ground.

“How do you do it?” asked Lux, both of her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Lya wondered if it had been too much for them. Desensitizing them to death was significant. Lya shook her head slowly, “Not much one can do, just remember and honor our passed ones and get ahead. Life goes on with and without them, without us.”

 Both apprentices remained grim to the tender subject. She knew they had both lost loved ones to the cause. It was rare for an anyone not to have suffered a casualty in this war. The Doctor looked at her medical agenda and realized that her other patients of the day were all in observation. Other doctors were on call tonight.

 She had some time off.

“How about this?” Lya suggested as she began removing her white lab coat. “How about we go to the Cantina? Lighten up a bit?” She offered with a small smile.

 Neither returned it.

     

* * *

     

It was late in the evening by the time that they arrived at the Cantina. Both Lux and Adair weren’t looking any cheerier. Lux’s gray eyes were glued to the table. She had barely touched her drink. Adair remained stoic his elbows resting on the table, his eyes blank.

Lya looked down at the water she was drinking before allowing an exhausted sigh to escape her lips. The loud music wasn’t helping either.

“Oi!” She stood and snapped her fingers rudely catching the attention of one of the irked bartenders. “Brandy?” She said raising both of her arched eyebrows. Demanding for the strong beverage to be served to them.

A few moments later…

Almost collapsing over the table, the Doctor leaned over and attempted to be louder than the band’s lively music. There were two empty bottles of Jogan Fruit Brandy.

“Listen!” She raised her voice “Do you feel better now?” She drunkenly slurred. Her violet eyes were filled with concern for her students.

Adair held on to his head he toyed with his thick curls as he attempted to keep his head leveled. Lux, however, remained in her dazed state. Her eyes showed only sadness despite the many drinks the Doctor had forced on her.

“Lux you need-“ The doctor suddenly lost her voice.

She was about to suggest she needed yet- another drink.

From across the room, a tall figure caught her attention. It was an imperial droid. There were few around Yavin4. It was K-2SO. Alongside him was Captain Cassian Andor. He wore a brown leather jacket and his beige civilian clothes underneath.

“Fuck!” She exclaimed slamming her hand on the table accidentally spilling whatever was left in the bottle of brandy on the table. She caught the attention of several wandering eyes in the Cantina. The spilled mess quickly consumed the small space. They all looked at the usually composed doctor oddly. Her behavior was incredibly out of character.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She cursed as the panic surged through her. She nervously ran a hand through her messy hair which was held in her typical hairstyle a low hair bun.

 Despite the fact that her elbows and arms were now soaked with the strong smelling liquid Lux didn’t move, she didn’t even flinch. The distracted Doctor didn’t even notice. Adair, however, looked at her with concern. She attempted to clean the spilled drink with the few napkins which were lying around the table. “I’m going to get more napkins,-” Lya announced.

“Are you OK?” Adair touched Lux’s arm gently.

“-If anybody asks you’re my boyfriend.” The Doctor tossed over her shoulder.

Adair looked at the Doctor who had already ran off confused. In a split of a second, his attention returned to the pixie-haired woman sulking next to him.

Lya almost leaped over the bar counter. “Napkins please!” She called out again slapping her hand on the counter. The busy bartender only flashed her an annoyed glance before nodding his head and heading out to the back to conveniently take his cigarette break. The Doctor tapped her fingers anxiously on the wooden counter. It was then that she felt a presence stand next to her. She fought the strong urge to turn, remaining rigid and faced the many bottles that were lined up before her. She held her breath. She knew this would happen.

 Cassian had seen her from afar, his heart had stopped. There was no way he could miss her. She was obnoxiously loud in an attempt to speak louder than the band that was playing. The Cantina was a dark place; everyone minded their own business. It was moist, and the wood creaked with every given step. It was rare, but often couples would stand up and dance.

Cassian noted how nervous she became and how she spilled a bottle of who knows what. He saw her standing at the bar looking particularly stiff.

“Cass?” K-2S0 questioned his distraught partner. The droid saw were his friend’s eyes lay and if the droid could’ve held a disappointed expression, he would’ve. “I’ve got a bad feeling about the-“ Before the droid finished speaking his friend had made a run a for it. “Oh dear.” He had no choice but to follow.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said with his thick accent. He wore a casual façade. Playing it casual he reached over the counter pulled a bottle of golden liquor and poured himself a drink in a small shot glass from the bar. His eyes momentarily darted towards her in order to attempt and read her stern expression.

She felt her blood begin to boil, her stomach churning uneasily. "Listen-" She snapped turning to face him with one single accusing finger. She regarded him. His beard had been trimmed neat, his hair was shaggy and reached just above his shoulders, his dark eyes were like two new moons resting upon her. He wore his civilian clothes and a brown leather jacket. 

"The Cantina is big enough for both of us, so why don't you take your drink-" She said raising up the shot glass with golden liquid in her hand. "Take it!" She tossed her head back and downed it in one large gulp. She hissed as the foreign liquid burned her throat and coughed. The stirrings inside of her made her feel nauseous.

"And get out of here?" She placed the shot glass on the table clumsily as she attempted to hold herself with grace. He looked at her and noticed her attempt to maintain her usual distant poise. He couldn’t help it, the smallest of grins grew on his face.

"I would love nothing more than that, but you just finished my drink-“ he paused for a moment debating if it would be fun to push her buttons. _“-fea."_ He said with a broad smile while pouring two shots on two different glasses this time.

Lya narrowed her eyes. She had heard that word before.

"Did you just call me..?" She said taking one of the drinks in her hand; she was unsure of the word’s meaning. She looked at K-2S0 expecting an answer.

"In Captain Andor's native tongue the word _fea_ translates to the equivalent of ugly," Kaytoo provided insightfully without shame.

Cassian chuckled at the incredulous expression on the Doctor's face. "How dare you-" She said inching closing to him. She threateningly raised a hand, inebriated, ready to strike- He caught it midair and brought it to his chest holding it close. The other casually sipped his drink.

Lya could feel her cheeks burning from the embarrassment. Her face resembled a frowning tomato.

"Quit hitting on me!" She protested not moving an inch. With a cool smirk, Cassian took a sip from his drink. "It seems like you're the one trying to hit me, _fea._ "

She knew he didn’t mean it by his playful expression. Still, it was irksome. He was irksome. 

"-Stop calling me that!" She fumed attempting to slap his chest with the hand fruitlessly he was holding on to. His grip only became tighter around it.

"Just so you know- I have a boyfriend. A very serious one at that and if you don’t let my hand go--" She tugged at her hand. Wearing a sly grin, he brought it to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

"He-He-He is going to turn you into Ewok shit!" Her head cocked to the side as she looked at him with her wide azure eyes. "Really?" He pretended to be surprised nodding apprehensively. He took another sip of his drink.

"Looks like he's busy," He said looking over her shoulder. She turned her head and saw that Adair and Lux were engaged in a full lip lock.

_'REALLY? NOW?'_

With pursed lips, she turned to face him. She hadn’t realized how close they were standing to each other. With her free hand, she took the free shot and clinked her glass against his before they both downed it.

"What is this anyway?" She grimaced at the awful taste.

"Tequila, a delicacy from where I'm from." She could feel his free hand snaking around her waist. Now, he was getting too close for comfort. "I'll teach you how to appreciate it one day properly."

"As if!" She exclaimed. "I'm-I'm-" She was interrupted by K-2S0.

"Your behavior, Dr. Stryker, is continually unexpected.” It spoke.

 "I'm out of here!" She finally pulled away, ignoring the droid’s statement. Bending over the bar, she reached the first towel she could get her hands on and scrambled away. "Hey!" The bartender caught sight of this just in time. 

Lya could feel her heart hammering in her chest as she rushed to the table where she had been sitting with Lux and Adair.

 "Peachy timing to get together you two," She grumbled sarcastically as she began a fruitless attempt at drying the table. The younger woman bit her lip bashfully and slightly shrugged. The other held a lazy grin on his face as he rubbed his thumb over her freckled hand.

"I mean- it's about time!" Her mood suddenly shifted as she beamed happily for the new couple. Lya suddenly felt an arm draped around her shoulders. “Yeah- tell me about it,” Cassian added in his husky voice.

“Who the hell invited you?” She glared at him, not flinching under his touch. The Captain took a sip from his second tequila and pointed at the Doctor's male assistant.

“You invited me over here when you said that that child was your boyfriend."

"Hey!" Lux protested with her whinny voice on behalf of her young partner. 

"-Poor judgment, impaired motor function, glassy eyes,  slurred speech, Dr. Stryker's BAC is 0.08%."

"Judgy aren’t we Kaytoo?" Lya turned and slapped her hand over what would be the robot's mechanical thorax.

"Be nice," She felt a pair of arms wrap around and hold hers from behind. "I can’t compute why the Captain is so infatuated with you," K-2S0 replied.

"K!” Cassian growled out. The Doctor couldn’t help but snigger. The sniggering made her feel nauseous. She swayed slightly bending over.

"Alright-" Cassian said taking away the wet rag that she held on her hand. "-I think we should." 

She had the oddest feeling aching in her stomach, rising to her burning throat.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," The bartender stood before the group with both of his hands on his hips. His half-lidded, tired eyes bored into the Doctor. He dragged the stench of cigarettes with him.

"I don't need to-" The Doctor began.

Lux cringed at the sudden stench. Adair only facepalmed bringing a shameful hand to his face. For a moment he couldn’t believe that this woman was his mentor. Cassian's fingers danced as his grip tightened on the Doctor's shoulders. Her head lolled over, and she wiped the leftover bile from the edge of her wet lips. The Captain pursued his lips in an attempt to choke down a frustrated chuckle. He could feel the warm puke coating his military rebel boots.

"Lovely. Leftover Gorak." Kaytoo added commenting on the Doctor’s previous meal.

 

* * *

 

"What am I now? A packing Eopie mule?" K-2SO complained as he carried Lya's lab coat, her barf covered boots and a massive bottle of water that they had picked up on the way.

 "No," Lya muttered. "Cassian is my Eopie mule," she laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck tighter. Cassian looked back with a smirk and bounced her on his back even higher. Lya felt her stomach churn. "Quit doing that or I'll throw up on you."

"You already did." He said with a humorous huff.

Considering she had already thrown up on him, he was in good spirits. Then again he had rolled through worse substances in the past.

"Then I'll do it again," She jokingly threatened as she leaned forward and whispered into his ear. He held her legs from under her knees steadily. 

"I think I'm the one that's going to be sick," K-2S0 droned sarcastically as ever. 

The trio suddenly stopped before the small home that Dr. Stryker called home. It had once been part of a massive tree. Parts of the tree still had lived and held masses of bountiful branches at its top. It was close enough to the medical ward that one would be there in minutes, yet far away enough to be able to disconnect yourself from the ugly truth of the rebellion. Around these areas, it was just the rainforest and your soul.

"Key is on top of the door frame," the doctor mumbled intoxicated. "Really?" Cassian tossed back as he reached for the key. He couldn’t believe how careless she was.

"Would you like to know the odds of an enemy breaking in?” The droid offered.

“Did you program him to be as unbelievable annoying as you?” The Doctor poked at Cassian. “They are unbelievably high," K-2S0 announced.

"Shut up," she mumbled. "You know I can look after myself K-2."

"Right. Just like right now," the droid finished with a jab at her visible intoxication.

She merely narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t drink alcohol often. She should’ve watched over her low alcohol tolerance more cautiously.

As soon as the door opened both humans were hit by the strong scent of herbs and flora. Cassian didn't expect her home to be so- homey?

He wanted to take off his boots and sink into the pyramid of pillows that sat on top of a sofa chair in the corner of the room.

It was definitely better than the military quarters which he inhabited.

There were countless of pillows, blankets and threw all around the small living room. Several couches, fit into the small room. Her kitchen was just as small with several teapots and teacups on the sides. The living room had a large shelf which weighted with the knowledge of dozens of medical books and scrolls. He found it odd that there was only a low table in the kitchen and instead of dining chairs, pillows surrounded it. Vases and jars with some dried and living flowers and herbs also decorated the room. A part of Cassian felt pride when he saw the flowers he had given her dried up and shriveled in one of the vases. Regardless of it all, she had kept them. 

There was a large door like cave carved into the woods of the tree which he figured was her bedroom. Cassian gave K-2S0 a knowing look. "I'll wait here," the droid tossed all of the doctor's belongings by the door.

Cassian stepped into the bedroom which consisted of a messy mattress on the floor. Just like the rest of the home the room was cozy, filled with pillows, blankets and throws to spare. The walls were decorated with dried herbs and flowers which hung upside down. The Captain couldn't decide if she kept all these plants for aesthetic or for actual medical purposes. He didn’t bother in turning the lights on. They wouldn’t be here long.

"Alright off-" he said. She simply stared at him remaining unresponsive."-because you're heavy." He added with a hint of humor.

She smiled and clumsily hopped off his back. She didn’t remove her arms from his neck, she tugged at his leather jacket and pulled him back to sit on the mattress. She stood on her knees and fully embraced him from behind. She would’ve let go. However, she hadn’t felt this much comfort in a long time.

"You're very, very drunk-" He noted, not complaining about the embrace.

"And you're very, very lucky. I won't be this friendly next time you see me."

"This is what you call friendly?" He chuckled. "Can I be your friend then?"

"No," she scoffed with a small laugh. "You're my Eopie mule," she added with a good-hearted laugh before placing a small kiss on his cheek. Turning to her with a lazy smile he grabbed her face in his rough hands.

"I'll be whatever you want me to." His dark eyes flickered to her odd purple ones."Friend, mule-" they landed on her lips. "Lover." His voice trailed into a whisper.

"Are you going to kiss me again?" She asked holding her breath. He brought her face inches closer to hers. Their noses were barely brushing.

"No-" He said in a serious tone, she looked at him with a strange look. "Because you smell like puke," he grinned. She couldn't help but smile at him. Regardless he leaned forward and planted a brave kiss on her temple. He sat there for a brief moment. Holding her close. His lips rested against her temple as they both sat with each other in the darkness. 

"I can't promise you I'll keep you safe," Cassian began.

"I can't promise you I'll be there, I can't promise you a future together, I can't even promise you I'll come back…" Lya held her breath. She felt something in her chest clench. Regardless, she didn't fear from his touch. Instead eased into it resting her head against his. She couldn't pinpoint the root of the emotions that were beginning to consume her. Perhaps it was the alcohol.   
  
"-But…" 

"What I can promise you is that-" He reached for her cold hands bringing them to his lips. "Out of the many lovers you will have and have had, I can promise you that none of them will even come as close to loving you like I will."

He looked at her eyes with longing. She felt breathless. 

"You don't even know me," she huffed as her mind processed what Cassian Andor had just declared. This was madness. It was absolute insanity. They didn't know anything about each other. 

He wasn't lying to her. Cassian was a tool for the Rebellion, a high ranking officer, a threat to his enemies, a spy, a weapon. He had more than a handful of targets on his head.

His enemies would not hesitate in hurting him or anyone within close affiliation to the Captain. Both had already had a brush with that problem.

The life they had both chosen in devotion to the Rebellion, was a lonely one. Death, fear and the uncertainty of tomorrow clouded their subconscious fears and plagued their lives.

Cassian wouldn't always be here. He'd be out, in a distant galaxy, working for the cause they both believed in, risking his life on the line for a better future. Pretending to live a double life. He would have to act stone cold in the face of fear and pretend as if his the Doctor was just some other medic.

Her inebriated state allowed for a small laugh to escape her lips, "Cassian, you don't even know me," She breathed, her head slumping to the sides from the alcohol she had consumed.

"Then let me." He didn't waste a breath in pleading. His fingers stroked her face, and she leaned into his tender caress.

She paused for a moment, looking at the look of longing in his deep eyes, they pleaded for her. She knew he wouldn't give up. She didn’t know if he was genuinely infatuated with her, if he would change his mind next week or if anyone else would ever care for her the way he claimed to do. She decided that the odds were that they would both die young martyrs. She made her decision. 

"Fine then." She said filled with pride. "I'll give you a chance to disappoint you," she said with a stunning smile.

"I look forward to it," he returned the smile, his hand ran through her messy hair tucking a lost strand of chestnut hair behind her ear.


	6. Chapter 6

A whole new set of trainees were arriving at Yavin 4. Supporters of the Rebellion and the cause everyone had pledged their lives to. Cassian observed them. Most were children. Barely over the age of 14. Each one of them traveled from beyond the reals of the galaxy to provide their services to their cause against the Empire.   
Striving mechanics, soldiers, technicians, fighter pilots, and medics all crammed the main building of the headquarters. The base’s commander greeted each one of them and dismissed them to a post. 

Today would be the day that Lux and Adair graduated from Dr. Stryker’s training. They weren’t quite ready to be professional medics yet; however, they had graduated from their mentorship. They would now serve to check up medics. They would assist doctor’s and keep busy with clinic hours aiding those with malaise and minor injuries, then work their way up the ladder.

“I’m proud of both you,” Lya said looking at both of her apprentices her violet eyes reflected the pride she felt for them. “I am more than certain that both of you will be excellent medics, and don’t be strangers. I’ll still be around the base.” She smiled at both of them.  
Both smiled back at her, the young couple held their hands with their fingers intercepted. Both were either very brave or very stupid to show their affections in public. The Doctor was so caught up in the moment that she failed to notice someone bump into her from behind almost making her fall over, “Excuse me,” the voice retorted sarcastically. She merely glared at the man who walked away; there was plenty of space for him to walk around. That had been so unnecessary.

“I don’t like that new doctor,” said Adair, Who eyed the man suspiciously with his dark eyes. There was something- odd about him.  
“He’s in charge of the clinic right? So we’ll be seeing plenty of him,” chimed Lux.   
“What’s his name again?”   
“Dr. Aztin Cyder. He was transferred here from the base in D'Qar,” Lya spoke not removing her eyes from the creature’s back. He was a Khajiit from a distant galaxy. A brown, copper colored lynx with humanoid features. His eyes were the color of ambers, and every inch of his body was covered in thick fur, he even had a long tail which crept from under his lab robe. Feeling the glares from the other medic his long whiskers twitched and he turned to glare back.

“Unfriendly creature.…"Adair muttered under his breath, "I hate cats.” 

“Dr. Stryker,” a young male Togruta approached the trio. Colorful tones of lime green marked his skin and his large montrals and head tails were white and a grayish shade of blue. His eyes were a matching shade of ocean blue.  
“You must be Seena N'Aviid, correct?” The doctor greeted the young man politely. Behind her stood another human young man. “And Forrest Ramsenn.”   
“You’re the new interns correct?” Dr. Adair Habibt acknowledged them.  
The medics all became acquainted with each other. Lux Nova and Adair had no problem filling them in with their new tasks and duties and showing them the strings around. “I’ll be in my office getting some paperwork ready for you, come to meet me whenever you’re done socializing. Doctors,” She excused herself acknowledging the new position of her former apprentices. 

“Dr. Stryker seems alright,” Seena commented.   
“She’s strict, very hard working, but she makes sure you learn. After all, we play one of the most important roles in the Rebel Alliance’s task force.” Their eyes trailed the Doctor, that’s when they saw it.

“Adair. Str-Andor interaction at 3 o'clock,” she spoke in an excited tone. The interns all eyed the doctor confused as she crossed paths with the tall, dark man. Both of their expressions remained stoic. Their eyes didn’t even meet. They continued their way as strangers. 

“Such a shame those two didn’t work out,” Lux sighed disappointedly.  
“I wonder what happened that night they both left together, he still seemed interested in her and well the Doctor, her behavior is very unpredictable.” Adair pondered. Both of the interns had witnessed the beginning, and quick collapse of their mentor’s relationship with Captain Andor and both were eager for something to blossom, however, to their disappointment their relationship instead wilted. 

XXXX

Lya closed the door behind her and leaned against it. In her own blessed privacy, she pulled out the small note from her lab coat’s pocket. 

‘That cat touches you again. He’s going to make a nice fur rug.’

She couldn’t help but chuckle at Cassian’s note. It was scribbled in his own messy handwriting. It was a simple gesture, regardless she treasured it.  
Both had decided to keep their relationship under the wraps. It was what was best for both. 

Besides, it was nobody’s business. 

Cassian was a spy. Thankfully, discretion came easily to him.   
Lya on the other hand- she still had some work to do. He was so good at what he did she barely even noticed that he had snuck something into her pocket until later. 

It was only a while later that Dr. Stryker’s newest apprentices joined her in the office. She spoke little with the two young men and got to know them some more. Seena seemed optimistic and eager to learn, he had a lot of energy and wanted to focus on treating burn victims. Forrest, on the other hand, was composed and analytical, his hazel eyes were sharp, and his interest lay in surgery. She could see that both had potential. With a quick nod and many forms and papers signed she dismissed them for the day.

Lya stood up and evened out some papers against her desk when there was a knock on the door. 

 

“Yes?” She said automatically without lifting her gaze.  
“Doctor,” a weak voice came in. “I’m afraid I’ve got a terrible illness.” The door closed behind the individual. 

The Doctor raised her bored gaze to meet the Captain’s jovial smirk.

“If it isn’t my favorite patient,” she said with heavy sarcasm dripping from her voice. “As much as I enjoy your company, I’ve asked you not to come distract me at work,” she said with a small frown. “You don’t see me showing up at your work.”  
“That’s different,” he said wondering around her wooden desk. “If you showed up at my work, you’d be dead.” He reached for her hand.  
“Right, because the medical ward is so safe, right?” She pressed her index finger against a particular pressure point in his hand. “Ouuuch,” he grumbled pulling his hand back. “Friendly reminder that I can take care of myself.”   
She nodded with the slightest of smile and continued gathering her documents.  
“But troopers wear armors,” he pointed out. He did have a point.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her in place.   
“Cass- I have to go make my rounds. My new apprentices are waiting for me.” She protested against his embrace. “Wait- you’re not taking me seriously.” He complained. “You didn’t even ask me what I was sick with this time!” 

She rolled her eyes. She loved yet at the same time hated how damn clingy this man could be. “You’re such a hypochondriac. What are you sick with now Cassian?” She turned to eye him an eyebrow cocked expectantly.  
“I’m lovesick.” He said before planting a fat kiss on her nose.  
“I think I’m the one who is going to be sick,” she laughed while cringing. Lya would never be able to understand where the root of his infatuation came from.

“Doctor Stryker?” a third voice suddenly piped in. 

Lya could’ve sworn she jumped three feet in the air. Cassian, on the other hand, played it cool and nonchalant shoved his hands into his pockets. It was the new cat in town, Dr. Aztin Cyder.

“Dr. Cyder!” The Doctor greeted. “H-How can I help you?” She asked nervously. Cassian eyed the man carefully. There was something odd about him, something unsettling. He wasn’t sure if it was his fixed glare on Lya or the way his massive feline teeth glistened whenever he spoke.  
“I knocked, but you didn’t answer-” He began. It was a lie, Cassian knew better. He debated if it was best to confront him about it or merely witness and analyze his faux charade. 

It was apparent he had witnessed the romantic interaction between the couple. “I wanted to discuss my clinic hours with you,” He spoke in a serious tone, his voice also carried an accent a distant land. One in which he would pronounce his Ks hard and his Ss would drag, and all of his Rs just sounded odd. Just the way he said Dr. Stryker as “Dr. SsstRAaicKerR,”gave her the creeps.   
“Right,” she pursed her lips and swallowed her breath. “I think you’ll be alright,” she nodded towards Cassian awkwardly and stretched out her hand for him to shake. His mistrusting eyes shifted between both Doctor’s and with no choice he took her hand in his. “Thank you, Doctor,” he said briefly. He walked out slowly, his eyes combing every inch of the Lynx man before them. Lya flashed him a pleading look as he left. 

Once outside Cassian closed the door behind him. A scowl was noticeable on his features. 

“You seem, distraught Captain,” commented K-2SO.  
“There’s something odd about that Khajiit,” Cassian said as they walked out of the ward. He adjusted his leather jacket and scratched his beard bringing the note that Lya had handed him to his close eyesight. 

'Come back to me.’

It was a simple note; regardless it brought a smile to his face. “Perhaps you are jealous Captain?” K-2SO suggested. The Captain shook his head slightly. He would get to the bottom of this. 

Meanwhile back in her office, Lya dealt with Dr. Cyder.

“Boyfriend?” The man asked as Cassian left the room.  
“What can I do for you Aztin?” she said with a polite smile ignoring the question. He didn’t falter.  
“I want more hours in the emergency ward, as well as my own assistants.” The man said in a demanding tone. 

Lya clapped her hands together and shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, but- I’m afraid there’s not much I can do for you.”  
“Back in Naboo I had eight apprentices and was the head of the surgical ward-” He raised his tone, which she interrupted. “Although your qualifications were outstanding, I hope you understand we can’t do that just yet- to begin with we are short staffed and you’ve only been in the Yavin 4 base for a couple of weeks. Let’s see how you do and then we can discuss it again, yes?” She spoke in a hurried tone as she once again gathered her notes, and charts amongst other documents.   
“Thank you for understanding,” she opened the door for him.

The lynx remained in his seat not even flinching. He didn’t even bother in turning his head to acknowledge the Doctor.

“That was Captain Cassian Andor, no?” He spoke in that eerie tone he had. Lya slowly retreated closing the door. “I can only assume, it could be… dangerous to be involved with an officer like that. With so many enemies, who knows what could happen if word got out.” He carefully attempted to read her expression from the corner of his predatory vision, his teeth gleaming in the dim light of her small office.

“Get out,” Lya slammed the door of her office behind the man. A Cheshire cat grin played on his feline features. He had gotten what he wanted, almost. More hours in the ER and two new assistants.

 

“I’m glad, you’re a reasoning woman,” he said satisfied.

Lya clenched her fist tightly at her sides as she fought the urge to sock him in the face. This would not end like this.

He wanted assistants? Then he would have assistants. He wanted an apprentice? Then he would have an apprentice and if he wanted an office- oh he would get his office. 

 

Lya didn’t know what to do. It had been a little more than a week and Cassian hadn’t returned from his mission. Then again, it was his fault this was all happening to begin with. She had assigned both Lux and Adair as his assistants. His apprentice would be Forrest since he was interested in surgery just like Dr. Aztin.

“I want you to report everything to me,” She had instructed her former students. Both nodded and discretely continued with their missions obediently. 

 

It had been weeks, and Cassian still hadn’t returned from his mission. It was an unusually rainy night, and Lya was presently leaning on a mountain of pillows on one of the sofas of her small round living room. The sky thundered making the window tremble and rattle. The yellow light in the room coming from the corner lamp was dim, and she ran a hand over her loose shoulder length hair as her eyes narrowed at Lux’s handwritten notes. 

The notes were observations of the new doctor in the office, Dr. Aztin Cyder. Everything was perfectly ordinary. He treated the interns firmly but with respect. He checked in on time and performed his rounds and hours to perfection. Regardless of this, there was still something about it that rubbed her wrong. 

“Dammit!” She slammed the stack of papers against her crossed knees and shook her head a frustrated exhale escaping her lips. Continuing with the reports she read over the new interns.   
Forrest was progressing at an average pace. He was always stoic and composed. Seena, on the other hand, was being educated on different types of tissue injuries and what the best prevention and medical care worked with each. He seemed to catch on quickly, way too fast. Perhaps this child was a prodigy in medical care? Lya saw much of herself in the young Togruta.

Lya tapped the end of her pen against her chin in a serious matter. She momentarily became distracted by the rain desperately tapping on the window. Having come from a dry climate, she couldn’t comprehend how it was possible for it to rain so much in this forest. Thunder rumbled above in the darkness of the jungle and lighting momentarily flashed through the window.

SLAM!

It was then that the heavy wooden door at the entrance came apart. A violent gust of wind tossed her notes into the air; the air chilled her skin. She looked at the dark shadow outline that stood in her doorway. Water spilled inside the warm home. Alert she braced herself digging her fingers into the arm of the sofa. Her jaw clenched, eyes wide, teeth grinding tightly as adrenaline pumped through her veins. Her heart stuck on her larynx.

“A-Aztin…” She managed to speak.

She was ready for the attack. Her closest weapon was the pen she was currently gripping in her clenched fist.

From the darkness stumbled forward Cassian instead, K-2SO followed suit. He slammed the door shut behind him catching his breath. His body soaked from head to toe. Kaytoo’s metal body was slick cold.

“Cassian!” She jumped to her feet tossing her remaining notes aside. Dark circles hung heavily under his eyelids. His eyes had turned into slits and remained focused on her.   
“Dammit! You scared the hell out of me!” She screeched, her face twisted into an upset scowl.   
Regardless he approached her, he didn’t waste a moment in engulfing her in his drenched arms. His lips thirsted for hers as they attacked her. 

“Get off me!” She allowed a sharp exhale as she pushed him away. 

He looked at her perplexed. 

“Stop.” She held her breath, a stern warning in the back of her throat. Her heart was hammering in her throat. He looked at her still confused. She felt light-headed and leaned on the nearby kitchen counter. Her hand on her racing heart. 

“I-.…” She lowered her head slowly. Shame filling her. “I’m sorry.” She sighed. “You just- you scared the crap out of me Cass.”

 

She got a good look at him. At how drained and exhausted he really was and the way his shoulder’s hunched over in defeat.

“Should we get going, Captain?” K-2SO suddenly piped.

Without a second thought and with pursed lips he turned leaving the humble house. The Doctor felt the guilt weigh down on her shoulders. 

“Cass-” She ran out of her house after him. She ran into the rainforest barefoot wearing a loose tank top and mid tight length cotton shorts. The rain consumed her. She could feel her wet hair sticking to her face. “Cassian!” She reached him and wrapped his arms around him, holding on to his blue parka. 

“Now you want me?” He removed her arms from his body. “I come, tired, drained, and the only thing I want is to see you and this happens-” he raised his tone.  
“Cassian- I was scared! What do you expect me to do when someone comes in barging in the middle of a storm?”

The thunder resounded above them. They both stood in the rain. Kaytoo stood along with them. Besides the heavy pouring of the rain, there was not a single sound amongst them. 

“Let’s-Let’s just go inside.” She asked in a kinder tone. Her eyebrows arched upwards in concern.

“Y-You’re soaking wet,” she said nervously as she wrapped her arms around her own cold body. He remained silent.  
“I’ll make tea,” she said quietly in an attempt to keep busy.

“I will now be powering down Captain,” K-2SO announced a sudden beeping sound he emitted allowed both humans to know he was out. Lya could feel Cassian shuffling around the apartment. The Captain unzipped his wet parka and laid it on a chair. Luckily he remained dry underneath.

“Make yourself at home,” she said dryly as she walked past him handing him a cup with tea. He responded with an unfriendly look. She casually removed her shirt as she made way to her room, sipping some tea on the way. A couple of moments later she returned wearing another loose blouse and plopped down amongst the many pillows on the sofa. She pretended not to mind him. However, he remained where he stood. His eyes were fixated on a blank spot of the dull wall. Lya kept her eyes on some notes she had been formerly leafing through. 

In a couple of moments, she heard Cassian shuffling about. She didn’t raise her gaze. His socks standing before her suddenly filled her vision. Raising her head, her eyes traveled across his bruised naked torso. Patches of hair adorned the middle of his chest and trailed so the south of his navel. She looked at him sadly, sighing her fingers reached for his sides which she caressed lightly. 

“Does it hurt?” She asked after a moment leaning forward and brushing his hot skin with her tender lips. “I’m sorry,” She whispered meeting his eyes. “It’s just…- hard for me when you leave.”

Tightening her grip on his hips, she pulled him down to the sofa and embraced him as if it were the last time. 

Both embraced some moments later. His head on her chest as he existed in romantic gaze. He found comfort in her touch and held one of her hands against his heart. Cassian didn’t say much about his mission, then again, that was highly confidential information. It’s not as if he was allowed. Lya mindlessly read over her reports with her free hand.

“I think there’s a spy in the quarters,” he said suddenly.  
“Hmm?” She asked half not listening. “I think we’ve been infiltrated.” He said turning his head up to face her with a severe expression. Her eyebrows furrowed confused. 

Her mind wondered for a moment, and the sudden image of the new feline doctor filled her vision: Dr. Aztin Cyder. 

She slightly sat up. Cassian looked at her confused. 

If Cyder was a spy, there was no other reason why he would want control of the medical ward, and his own assistants to do his dirty work for him.

“I think I know who the spy is…” She said when the realization hit her.


	7. VII

_'There was a damn rat in the building…'_

The following morning Lya found herself laying on her sofa. Cassian was at her side, lying down next to her. One of her hands found herself gently scratching his scalp. His eyes were closed as he found himself in a moment of serenity and silence. He wore a gray cotton t-shirt and was covered in a wool blanket.

_'There is a fucking rat in my ward…'_

Lya hadn't realized how tight her grip had become on the pages of the small book she currently held in her opposite hand. She sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to calm her tense shoulder and simply enjoy the moment of peace the two were sharing.

Unfortunately, he felt the tension too.

"Still thinkin' about it?" He asked in a groggy tone which was coated with his heavy accent.

The doctor slammed her book down to the side of the couch. "I just-!" She frowned. "I know it's him! No one else skulks around the base like he does!" She threw her hands up.

Cassian turned to look at her with a lazy smile.

"You got any evidence?" He asked.  
"Have you seen the cat-man?" She asked sarcastically.  
"Don't get me wrong," Cassian began. "I'm not a fan of felines either, but the man, he's straight-edge," he shrugged.  
"-or maybe he's cleaned up his tracks too well… way to well…" a sly smirk made way to her face.

He looked at her and shook his head with a smile. He could never get tired of this. Lazy mornings with no care or concern in the galaxy. Just him and Lya. Just him and her smile. His eyes gazing into the bottomless orbs of violet life which allowed him to peer into her soul.

"Wait-" He said giving her arm a caring squeeze. "-I brought you something back."

An eyebrow perked at his surprise. He left the sofa momentarily to reach for his satchel. She waited eagerly bringing a hand to her lower lip. "I'll trade it with you," he said taking a seat back in the sofa once again. "For a kiss," a flirtatious smile made way to his thin lips.

"For a kiss?" She said taking his face in her hands.

"Hmm.…A rare souvenir from a foreign land. I think that's worth more than one kiss. Wouldn't you agree?" She leaned over and planted a fat kiss on his scruffy face, and another on his cheek and another on his temple and another and another.

"I'll give it to you for free if I can hold you all day like this," he closed his eyes and relaxed into the touch slowly wrapping an arm around her.

It was then he presented the gift with his opposite hand. It was an exotic flower from a distant land. Sadly, it had become damaged in transit. The flora resembled a large, golden lily. The specks were yellow and almost seemed to glow.

"Cass!" She said taking the flower. "You shouldn't have!" She said once again planting another sweet kiss on his face. She quickly stood up and turned around in an attempt to hide her blushing face. "Let me just place it in some water…" she called over her shoulder. Her own blanked trailed after her as she moved around her small kitchen. She began fidgeting with a vase in an attempt to keep herself distracted as she heard him shuffling around the background.

"Lya."

She turned her head to face him. His tone was rigid and dull. His eyes focused on her. The look on his face made the words stuck to her throat. She felt him take her hand in his an unfamiliar coldness drew her eyes to the union of their hands.

"Let's get married."

She looked at the silver band that wrapped around her finger. Her mouth felt dry. Her heart leaped to her throat halting her speech. The look on her face made his heart sink. However, Cassian was not one to give up easily.

"Cassian," she said in a ghastly breath.

They hadn't even exchanged "I loved you's" yet and this man wanted to get married? Was he sane? How long had they even known each other for? A few months?

"You're not serious," she said with a pale expression.

"Lya. Marry me," he insisted. The grip on her hand becoming tighter.

"Why?" She said in awe.

"Why the hell not?" He dropped his hands on his sides.

"Cassian! We are at war!" She snapped tossing her arms at her sides. "Exactly. That is exactly why," he repeated.  
"Have you thought this through?" She slammed a hand on a table. "What if you die? What if I die? What if people know- how dangerous do you think that would be. For you, for me-" She held her breath when he approached her and grasped her head in his hands. He silenced her with a deep kiss.  
"The worst is going to happen," he dropped in a harsh breath. "The inevitable will happen," he licked his lips as his eyes met the floor. "I just know- that, whatever happens, I want it to happen with you."

She looked stunned. She felt as if the floor had collapsed under her.

"I have known since the day I woke up in the medical ward… However much time we have left in this war, in life, I am giving to you."

Cassian looked at her expression of disbelief. Her glossy, watering eyes pained him. He wasn't going to ask a third time… The message was clear.

"I love you," she babbled with her voice trembling. A single tear caressed her blushing face. "Let's get married." She said reaching for his face.  
"Si?" He reached for her as well. "Si!" She laughed and he kissed a stray tear that had managed to escape the dams in her eyes.

"Well, that really got my mind off things," she said with a nervous chuckle.

 

* * *

 

 _'THERE IS A SPY IN MY MEDICAL WARD!'_ and nothing. Not even a tear-jerking engagement would allow Dr. Lya Stryker to forget that.

"Lux," Lya barked from her desk. "What is your report on Dr. Aztin's activities?"

"I can't believe you are engaged!" The younger girl cried out in an excited squeak. The graduated assistant began rambling about flowers, wedding ceremonial attire, and romance. The doctor decided to tune this out.

"Congratulations!" Adair offered beaming at the same time.

"There will be no wedding or ceremony. Seeing as we want to keep this a most private affair," she looked away from the couple before her. "The only reason both of you are being made aware is…" Her voice trailed off into a softer tone. "Because you are a family to me."

"Doctor!" Lux cried out and almost leaped over the desk to hug the older woman. The doctor looked away embarrassed and patted the strawberry blonde on the back. "Lux, I want you to be my lady of honor."  
"What!" The other gasped in excitement. Her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Besides Kaytoo, Cassian and I decided we both want you to be there on our day. Only, you two," Dr. Stryker smiled upon her interns. Both were touched by the heartfelt sentiment.

"Anyways-" She cleared her throat changing the subject.  
"There is a spy in this ward, and since both of you are the most competent medics in the building- I expect you to pay a scrutinous attention to detail. Keep an eye on the Kahjjit."

Both nodded and went their separate ways. The moment they left the office Lya looked down at the thin silver band that weighted down on her finger. After some thinking she removed the band wrapped it around a very thin leather strap she found amongst her belongings and began carrying it as a necklace. It was much less suspicious this way.

Stepping out of the office the doctor began doing her rounds. Today was a particularly busy day. The doctor dodged the running meds that ushered beds of moaning patients. She could feel the tension of the environment weighing down on her shoulders. It made it almost hard to breathe. She tapped on the notepad nervously that she carried around as she wondered the hallways of the ward. Her eyes skimmed over every single detail of the environment as she sought for anything out of place or the ordinary. After all, there was no rush, correct?

"Mi vida," a familiar voice suddenly snapped her out of her train of thought. "Cassian!" she gasped. "You're not supposed to be here," she said irked. K-2SO was with him as well. Looking distraught he looked around nervously before pulling her into an isolated hallway. "You shouldn't be here," he said concerned. "What?" She repeated confused, her eyes narrowed. "We need to evacuate the medical ward."  
Lya's eyes instantly snapped to the overcrowded reception that was within eyesight. Pilots, fighters, soldiers, spies, technicians all with different malaise or injuries awaiting to be treated.

"There is a bomb in the building."

Lya felt the blood drain from her face.

"I found this outside," the Captain said before pulling out what appeared to be a damaged chip the size of his hand with scrap metal which was burnt surrounding it. "It was behind the building. It's a test bomb."

"There is a very, very high chance that a bomb will go off in this building today," Kaytoo added.

"We can't waste any more time," Cassian urged.  
"How high?" Dr. Stryker asked with her hands on her waist.  
"87.93%" Kaytoo responded.

The doctor immediately sprung into action.  
"I'll evacuate the hospital. Find the bomb Cass."  
She gave his hand one last squeeze and with a longing look, they parted ways.

"Everybody. Out of the ward!" Lya shouted as she marched down the hallway. "Out. Get out. Wait outside!" She said as she entered room after room.

"What?" A med poked his head out of a room. "Why? I'm in the middle of a-"  
"This is a medical emergency. Everybody out. No questions asked!" She snapped. Every second counted. Every minute. Time was a ticking by. Weighting down on her. Rushing. Lives were at stake.

At the same time, Cassian and K-2SO flipped hospital beds. They inspected desks, chairs, doors anything and everything that could trigger an explosion. Cassian heard the crying and the painful groans and moans of the patients being escorted out of the building.

"Adair," Lya reached out to the tall man who was currently pushing a burnt victim on a hospital bed. "Where is he?" She hissed between gritted teeth. "Who?" The other repeated confused. "The cat."  
Adair was pushed forward and the bed hit the wall as people stampeded behind him. "What's going on?"  
"Emergency. Get everybody out. Now."  
Not wanting to waste any more time Lya continued seeking. It was when she reached the end of the hallway that she kicked a door wide open. There he was. Dr. Aztin Cyder performing a surgery with his apprentice Forrest Ramsenn following careful instructions.

"There you are," she growled out instantly reaching for a surgical knife from the operating table. Aztin lowered the mask that covered his furry face and whiskers.

"What is the meaning of this?" He growled. "I am in the middle of an operation-"

"Cut it with the crap Cyder. Stitch that woman up and follow me outside. Same goes for you Forrest," she said holding her stretched arm towards them. Without any hesitation, Forrest raised his hands and did as he was told. "Wait-" The Khajit hissed as they began ushering the patient out of the room. Her heart monitor beeping dully under the effects of the anesthesia "Why?"  
"There's a bomb in the building. So why don't you cut the crap and tell me where it is?"

It happened in a second. There was no hesitation in his swift movements when the male doctor twisted around his apprentice and held a scalping tool against his jugular vein.

"We are going to do this the hard way then?" Lya licked her lips as her hand began to tremble. A hostage situation… One wrong move and Forrest would be a casualty. She saw the apprentice's green eyes widen in fear. His skin dipped under the pressure from the knife being held against his life. "Spit it out you swamp rat. Where is it?" Aztin suddenly said.

The doctor stopped. She looked at the cat man confused.

"I-I don't know what you are talking about!" The young man cried out. His face swollen and crimson as he sweated bullets. "You want me to poke it out of you, eh?" Aztin spat out some words which sounded like curse words.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Lya stood hopelessly unsure of how to proceed with the situation.  
"I've been following this podunok since Naboo. Nothing but a filthy traitor - RAT!" His voice boomed and echoed across the room. "This boy doesn't know anything!" It was obvious. "But I am certain-"

It was then that reality came crashing down for Lya. Dr. Cyder's golden eyes suddenly grew in size. Both had arrived at the same conclusion. He wasted no time in following Doctor Stryker out of the room. "Take this patient outside!" Aztin barked at the trembling young man as he exited the room.

It was the same profile. A medical student arriving from Naboo. Aztin had been on the right track, he had the right profile.

Just the wrong student.

Most of the ward was completely empty by now. Lya didn't know where Cassian and Kaytoo were, or just where or how the hell Lux and Adair were dealing. Her heart was hammering in her rib cage. "Burn victims unit," Aztin said in a hushed breath as they sprinted down the hallway to the center of the medical ward.

There he was.

"Seena!" Lya shouted in rage.

The Togruta stood still for a moment. He turned his head eyes wide in panic as they met the doctors. Aztin growled, his claws sharp as he prepared to strike.

The terrorist was on the move. He sprinted towards the outside of the ward where all of the ward's patients were currently being guarded. "Stop!" Her voice thundered as she pushed forward.

Seena kept on looking over her shoulder as she rushed, almost at the exit when.

"I got him!" A voice cried out as Seena N'Aviid was stopped. Relief momentarily washed over Lya as she saw Lux appear from a corner and wrap her arms around the apprentice holding him in place. "Thank goodness," she sighed in relief.

And just as he was about to exit the ward! It had been perfect timing. "Where is the bomb?" Aztin demanded as he stomped towards him.

The Togruta struggled against Lux's strong grip. Her freckled face twisted into a frown as she held on with all of her strength.  
The two doctors approached the med and the terrorist.

"Where did you put it?" Aztin said as he placed his sharp claws around Seena's lemon-colored skin. Instead, he simply swallowed his pride and glowered at the Khajit. "Don't make me ask again," he threatened. Lya stood a couple of feet behind Aztin observing the young man carefully. From across the long hallway, Cassian and other observed the scene with caution. His heart lodged in his throat throughout the interaction.

It was then that N'Aviid reacted. He cracked.  
The slightest of smiles cracked upon his foreign features. Something wasn't right. A low beeping noise suddenly tore the silence in the ward.

Aztin reacted before Lya could process what was going on. He turned on his back and tackled the doctor away from Lux and Seena. "He is the bomb!" Aztin shouted. "This is a suicide mission!"

The beeping continued, louder, more rapidly.

It all happened so fast. Lya's last words were a blood curling cry "Lux!"

A deafening buzz echoed their eardrums as the explosive set off in the ward. Lux barely had a moment to react and remove her arms from the Togruta before being blown into oblivion. The blinding light and fire engulfed the ward as the windows shattered, walls came apart and the room came coming down.

The northern part of the ward had collapsed and under the flames, rising smog, and fallen debris lay Dr. Aztin Cyder and Dr. Lya Stryker lost in action.


	8. VIII

Three days later Dr. Stryker awoke.

Her hand trembled as she reached for her oxygen mask and removed it. She gasped her first breath and was suddenly overcome with unbearable pain. She could hear the heart monitor jolting with intensity.

"Dr. Stryker!" The man sitting next to her bed jumped to his feet. It was Adair. He pressed his palms against her shoulder's pressing her back down to the bed.

"My leg," she winced. The pain was unbearable and seem to pinch in the middle of her femur. "It's a miracle that you're alive," Adair said. The doctor didn't have time for compassionate statements. "Get me out of here. We've got word to do," she snapped tossing her numb legs to the side despite the pain.  
"Wait- there's-" A hollow clanking noise hit the floor. Lya looked down. In place of her left leg was a metallic one. The scarring in the charred skin was disgusting. It was bright red and peeled at her epidermis in evidence of the destruction the flames had brought. She looked at her hands and saw the pink-stained bandages that covered most of her arms. Deep cuts and scars peeked from them.

"Lya," Adair began. "You need rest. You were buried under two stories of fire and debris. It's a miracle that you are alive."

The doctor had a horrible thought. Slowly she brought her hands to her neck… More bandages… Her fingertips trailed her face. It was completely bandaged.

"You and Dr. Cyder…" The man said.

"Dr. Cyder?" She said turning with her head lowered.  
"He saved you. Covered most of your body from the damage. The doctors couldn't save your leg, and most of your body extremities suffered from second and third-degree burns and cuts." He explained.

"Hmm.…" Lya sat in her bed. She pondered on the events that had transpired some days ago. Aztin the spy. Seena the traitor. The hospital exploding. Lux being… Her hands clenched the bed covers tightly.

"And... Lux?" She managed. As if the name choked in her mouth.

Adair was silent. The silence itself and the vacant look in his eyes told Lya the truth. Her eyes instantly watered. The tears cascaded down in a terrible sob.  
She could see it playing over and over in her head. The Togruta deactivating the bomb. Lux had come and gone the only way she was meant to, with light. After that, it was all a hazy blur, a blast, and complete darkness.

"She didn't feel any pain," Adair said wiping away some of the burning tears that had escaped his swollen eyes.

"Curse it all," Lya growled out angrily.

For somebody that had once had so much faith in the Force, it was beginning to falter. Why did this happen? How could this happen? Slipped right under her nose.

With an angry scream, she tossed the table that was next to her bad against the wall, along with everything that stood in her way.

"Dr. Stryker!" Adair ran towards her and wrapped his arms around her holding her struggle together.

"Where-where is Cassian?!" She cried, still struggling.  
"He's out. He's devastated," Adair explained as his grip became tighter.  
"And he left me here?!"  
"It is his duty!" He shook his body as he snapped some sense into her. The woman was heaving as her chest rose and collapsed violently. At that moment it felt as if her body had been pricked by a thousand scorching needles. "It's his duty and you know it. You knew that Captain Andor wouldn't always be here there for you when you choose him." She was quiet for a moment and his grip relaxed. "Know that he expects the same of you if he was in your position and yours in his."

Suddenly the door opened. In came in Dr. Aztin Cyder.  
Bold patches of his fur were burnt and were covered in thick bandages. Both of his arms were broken and crossed over his chest.

"Dr. Stryker," the cat man said acknowledging the woman that was sitting on the floor. Adair helped the woman to her feet and sat her on the edge of her bed.

"Dr. Cyder," Lya began. "I, I am so sorry. I don't know where to begin." She said at loss of words. "I thought-"

"No need," Aztin spoke cooly.

How was she supposed to apologize when she judging him so harshly and speculated he was the terrorist behind this tragedy?

"He slipped past me too…" He muttered darkly. "I had been following him since Naboo. I wasn't quite certain of which one was the rat. That is why I insisted so much on having my own team and assistants. I wanted to keep a close eye on both Seena N'Aviid and Forrest Ramsenn."

Everything made sense now.

"I'm just glad the casualties…" He paused his golden eyes on Adair. The man appeared to be lifeless. "… where few."  
"We successfully managed to evacuate the hospital just before the explosive detonated."

"And then?" the woman doctor asked quietly. "What happened then? Why aren't we dead." She said the word dead as if was a curse.

"The force was with us," was all Aztin said.  
"AND WHERE WAS THE FORCE WHEN LUX NEEDED IT?! Or when we were looking for the monster who was-"

"The Force.." Aztin interrupted in a strained tone. "Works in mysterious ways. "I'm sure you know that by now from years of working in the medical field Dr. Stryker. Now if you excuse me I will leave you to mourn in peace. Interacting with hysterical patients is not my forte I'm afraid."

With a curt nod, the doctor exited the room.

"That damn dirty cat. I'd love to see him as my welcome mat." She cursed.

"He saved your life Lya," Adair explained. "His body covered yours taking most of the damage from the fire and the collapsing ceiling. What he did was very noble. He's lucky his Khajit biology made him less susceptible to damage."

The doctor felt disgusted with her self. A pang of unbearable guilt-burdened her spirit.

xxx

A month later Lya found herself in the comfort of her home. The air smelled like the chamomile tea she had just been brewing. She looked down at her burnt hands as she held the warm teapot in her hands. They were bright red and scarred from the flame damage. For a brief moment, she caught the light of her reflection on the metallic teapot. A gash ran from the bridge of her nose curved below her eye and reached all the way to her jaw marking half of her face. That same half of her neck had been scarred by the flames. Both of her hands had been scarred into the same texture. One, however, was burnt in patches up to her shoulder. The limp she had developed with her robotic leg wasn't helping.

She was hideous.

She hadn't decided what hurt more if the physical disability of her scarred reflection. Part of her was glad that Cassian was gone. It made it worse to assume that his reaction would be to this. She was prepared for him to leave her. In her absence, Adair had sought refuge with her and would spend most days in her company simply lounging around her home or near her in the medical ward. If he wasn't with her he could be found mourning at Lux's grave.

the doctor had become so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear the door being opened and closed behind her.

She felt her soul leave her body when she heard that familiar accented voice say her name. A pair of arms engulfed her from the back before she had a chance to react.

Cassian uttered some endearing words in a language she couldn't comprehend against her skin. She was petrified. "I'm sorry my love, I had to go," he added quietly his grip became tighter.  
She was silent. "Lya say something." He said slowly releasing her. She stood before the kitchen counter leaning over her shoulders with her head lowered.

Then it came out. It was a meek sound that escaped her lips, a weak and silent cry. "Lya, look at me," Cassian said concerned. She remained still. With his hands, he slowly turned her. He had to lower his head to look at her hidden face.

It was then that she raised her face revealing herself to him. He looked at her wet face and simply brushed back the brown hair that had stuck to her hot, wet face. He saw the bright red gash that split her face in two and divided those amethyst colored eyes.

"What's wrong?" He said rubbing his thumb over her hair.

"Cassian, my face, my hands, my leg-" she choked a sob. "I'm-" It was like spitting fire "I'm hideous!"

He remained calm and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "Don't pretend like you don't see it!" She said between sobs.

"I do." He said. "I see you."

She hated the look on his face. The tender expression he wore and the warmth and love his eyes held for her.  
Wanting to escape his gaze she wrapped his arms around him and buried her face on his chest sobbing.

He coed gentle shushing whispers which brought comfort to her. The couple now sat on the sofa. Rivers of tears poured down her scarred face as he held her close to him.

"I love you Lya."

He said suddenly. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her temple, the to her injured nose and finally to her lips. He kissed away her pain, her tears, her sorrows.

With sullen hearts, both spent the day raw, open and vulnerable to each other.


	9. Chapter 9

He had done it again.

Cassian sat shirtless on Lya's kitchen counter. She hovered over his back as she rubbed an ointment on his shoulder blade. Her lips were shut tight and jaw clenched as she applied her medical knowledge to his wounds. He was so careless…

He winced and let out a low hiss. She said nothing as she wrapped his shoulder in a bandage. She did it perhaps a bit too hard and tugged at the bandage aggressively. He winced. She couldn't handle it anymore. 

"Lya! Careful!" he complained. 

She stopped. She had made herself a mental vow that she wouldn't speak to him today. 

"You are telling me to be careful after you got yourself shot in the shoulder?" 

He turned his body to face her and winced as he did. 

"You think I got shot on purpose?" his eyebrows twisted.  
"Cassian I can't do this anymore," she sighed shaking her head. 

She had grown into the habit of wearing her hair down in an attempt to hide the healed scars that slashed her face in half and crept down to her shoulders and arms like vines. 

"Can't do what?" He said bringing his hands down to his lap."I can't keep seeing you get hurt like this. I can't bear the thought of you being away and not knowing when you are coming back- or if you're coming back at all." 

For someone that had once had so much faith on the Force Dr. Stryker had lost all of it. 

So much had changed after the hospital… after Lux…Losing Cassian would be- her eyes watered at the thought of losing him in the war. The pain- it would be unbearable. 

"Oye.…"He said reaching for her face.

 

She shied away from his touch retreating. The doctor ducked her head and crossed her arms over her chest before wiping a stray tear away.

"Lya," he said in a pleading tone with his accented voice.  
"What are we doing Cassian?" She cocked her head to the side.  
"You're gone half the time. I-I have some stuff to work out. We are in the middle of a war. What are we doing? Really-" She cried out as she paced anxiously.

He was quiet for a moment. His dark eyes rounded her. 

Gazed at her as if attempting to read her very own thoughts. She felt lost when looking into those two bottomless dark wells of ink.

"Surviving," he said.  
"Surviving?" She repeated. 

"Lya we've talked about this before the inevitable will happen."

She looked away from him.

"What matters is that we do it together," His hands reached for her. 

She couldn't fight it- fight him. She caved in and squeezed his hand back. She flashed him a weak smile. "I have to go, I'll be getting my ship ready. Best be prepared," He said before leaning over and placing a kiss on her temple. "Te amo guapa," he said with a smile.

Cassian left.…

xxxxx

Captain Andor was fueling his ship. He currently sat inside in the commanding ship.He sat back starring at the empty ceiling from the inside of his spacecraft. 

"You are awfully quiet Captain," Kaytoo suddenly said. Cassian sighed and simply nodded his head. "Thinking about Dr. Stryker?" K-2SO said.

Once again Cassian nodded. He was worried about Lya. She hadn't been the same since… well the hospital."It's just, she's been so cold lately. I don't even think she wants to marry me anymore," he said sounding defeated. 

"I calculate the odds of Dr. Stryker marrying you are 70%."

Cassian looked at him with an annoyed glare. 

"72%, 73%, 74%, 77%..." K-2SO calculated. The amount increased with every passing moment. "There is no way you can calculate that," Cassian said in protest.

"How do you even know that?"

"Because Dr. Stryker is coming this way.

"The Captain almost fell off the chair. He turned around shocked to see the doctor aboard the ship. Both the Captain and his right-handed robot realized that her face was wet with tears. They exchanged a look that K-2SO had almost programmed into his system.

"I'm sorry- it's just- the thought," she bit back her tears. 

"The thought of losing you. It haunts me. I don't know what I would do if I lost you," she cried. She felt so childish and vulnerable for worrying. For the sake of the galaxy- this was Cassian's job. Who was she to impose on his duties?

Just like a moth is drawn to a flame he engulfed her in his arms."You won't lose me," he said against her hair. 

"I promise." 

She remained silent through it all."I will always come back to you," he said before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

She held him close. She had already lost so much. Her best friend, her leg, her skin…

One more blow would be deathly to her sanity.That night Lya spent the night in the Captain's ship.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? I would love to know what you think!


End file.
